Should I or Should I Not Have Sex Before Marriage?
Dear Maggie:
I am a sixteen-year-old girl living in the city of Chicago. On Sunday, I go to youth group and at our last meeting we were discussing purity. This question was asked by one of the kids “Why should I wait to have sex until I am married?” What do you think?
Sincerely,
Curious
Dear Curious:
As a mother of a daughter this is a question that I ponder often how best to answer. I want to be very careful because I know that in today’s world sex is represented in a variety of ways. It makes me sad that what I believe should be sacred and special is used in everything from advertising a cell phone to body lotion.
Let me first say this, I believe there are several very good reasons to wait to become sexually active. Some of which are written in the Bible and some of which are for your protection. I think that when parents are addressing the question of sexual purity the discussion should cover both aspects.
So, let’s do that here. Let’s talk about the protection reason first. I had the privilege of working in the School of Nursing at a very well known University in Georgia. One of my responsibilities was to type up scientific reports and articles for various medical journals. It was during this that I learned some very concerning and frightening facts. Did you know that when a young woman is sexually intimate with more than one partner she is more likely to contract uterine cancer? The female body is made to be intimate with one person when we are intimate with more than one person we are receiving their personal combination (everyone’s is different) of sexually transmitted bacteria contained within body fluids that are released during sexual intercourse which causes a variety of bacteria to build up in the body making the uterus more prone to disease. If that isn’t reason enough not to have intimate relations before marriage let’s look at the emotional consequences because we are made to be with one person and not many. When we give ourselves to someone intimately we are bonding on a level that imprints the intimacy in our minds and emotions to be forever preserved in our memories. Once that occurs, it is very difficult to emotionally detach from that person which causes a lot of pain on various levels.
Now, let’s talk about the Word. God knew we would be easily drawn into sexual immorality and He warned us of the consequences of sexual sin. It says in Song of Solomon several times (Chapters and verses 2:7, 3:5 & 8:4) … “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” God always intended that the marriage bed be the only bed of sexual intimacy. He also said in several different passages “You shall not commit adultery.” It is one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:14) and is mentioned throughout the Bible. Fornication is sexual intimacy outside the covenant of marriage, a form of adultery. When you give yourself to someone that is not your husband then you are sinning against yourself, the person you are engaging in fornication with, and both of your future spouses. You are stealing and giving away a gift that belongs to someone else.
Well, I hope that this will help you. Ultimately, the choice is yours. You are precious and your virtue is a gift meant for one person. Treasure it and give it away only in celebration of the covenant of marriage.
May “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” [Numbers 6:24-26]
In His Service!
Maggie
